Debbie Downer?! Who me?
Well, everyone, I decided to write again tonight mosty because I was feeling a little down and it is a little therapeutic for me to write. However, for many of you who read this, it seems I am at the throws of an all out emotional breakdown. Well, I am not. I have good days and bad days. If you want to see me get excited just mention the fall season, carving pumpkins, fireplaces, christmas lights, and the new seasons of televisions shows.
These were things I missed. Fall season is my favorite of all time. It really is above spring. When I was in Spain getting through that time there was the hardest. I remember last year I started watching Christmas movies in October because I needed to forget that I was missing fall. From Mid october to January 1, I am a happy person.
Right now, I am just facing questions of what I want out of life. I have thought about this alot! Right now, I really want to move to Europe. I want to be near my brother and his wife whom have the sweetest baby girl ever, who by the way makes me laugh on purpose she will do things and then look at me to see if I laugh at her. She is only 6 months old (that kid just gets me. Its crazy!) Plus, I want to learn languages. I want to work in a setting where they will teach me languages and let me translate and speak them daily. Spanish, French, German (possibly) are the top ones on the list. I am afraid of German because it is not a latin based language but it will be a good challenge for me I think.
I love the thrill of it. I love hearing the words and immediately perking up to listen to decipher what language and what was said that is of course when it is spanish. Man I love that language. I love that I have lived in a country that taught me that language. It is special to me.
I guess this touches my passion. I love the vastness of the world languages, culture, and people. I love it so much I daydream about where I will be in 10 years. I love the idea that I could go anywhere. I never knew this about myself but there is an adventurer somewhere deep inside of me that is dying to break free of the duties I have here to roam. Right now, I ask myself about settling down, and I really feel thats what my 30's will be for. As for right now, I look forward to where I go next.
I think the reason I have found myself the Debbie Downer so many try to avoid is because I realize Fayetteville is not the place I use to think I would move to and live forever. Arkansas is not that place anymore either. It is weird to realize the place you called home for 98% of your life no longer represents that to you. In a way, it is a form of grief, and I think for me it is a matter of understanding that grief and learning that this is for a short time. With good does come a little bad, and my best preparation for what comes next usually serves me best when it comes in the form of transition or brokenness. So in my "downer" moments just let them pass because I will have some good moments to come. They will probably begin when fall hits or when The Office and Grey's Anatomy start! haha Let's see where my priorities are...
These were things I missed. Fall season is my favorite of all time. It really is above spring. When I was in Spain getting through that time there was the hardest. I remember last year I started watching Christmas movies in October because I needed to forget that I was missing fall. From Mid october to January 1, I am a happy person.
Right now, I am just facing questions of what I want out of life. I have thought about this alot! Right now, I really want to move to Europe. I want to be near my brother and his wife whom have the sweetest baby girl ever, who by the way makes me laugh on purpose she will do things and then look at me to see if I laugh at her. She is only 6 months old (that kid just gets me. Its crazy!) Plus, I want to learn languages. I want to work in a setting where they will teach me languages and let me translate and speak them daily. Spanish, French, German (possibly) are the top ones on the list. I am afraid of German because it is not a latin based language but it will be a good challenge for me I think.
I love the thrill of it. I love hearing the words and immediately perking up to listen to decipher what language and what was said that is of course when it is spanish. Man I love that language. I love that I have lived in a country that taught me that language. It is special to me.
I guess this touches my passion. I love the vastness of the world languages, culture, and people. I love it so much I daydream about where I will be in 10 years. I love the idea that I could go anywhere. I never knew this about myself but there is an adventurer somewhere deep inside of me that is dying to break free of the duties I have here to roam. Right now, I ask myself about settling down, and I really feel thats what my 30's will be for. As for right now, I look forward to where I go next.
I think the reason I have found myself the Debbie Downer so many try to avoid is because I realize Fayetteville is not the place I use to think I would move to and live forever. Arkansas is not that place anymore either. It is weird to realize the place you called home for 98% of your life no longer represents that to you. In a way, it is a form of grief, and I think for me it is a matter of understanding that grief and learning that this is for a short time. With good does come a little bad, and my best preparation for what comes next usually serves me best when it comes in the form of transition or brokenness. So in my "downer" moments just let them pass because I will have some good moments to come. They will probably begin when fall hits or when The Office and Grey's Anatomy start! haha Let's see where my priorities are...
posted by Jess at
9:43 PM
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