Europe, Please!
Hello readers!
I am just getting back from movie night with a lot of students we have been ministering to at Cartuja a faculty of the University of Granada. I am so encouraged. Many of the students I have met as a result of my great friendship with Sam, also the student we do a bible study each Monday. I can't tell you how much I love being with them all. I have learned one of their terrible professors accents and they make me do it all the time. It makes me happy that in my limitations with Spanish, I can still make these students laugh. It truly warms my heart to be apart of their lives and to feel so loved. Tonight, when I walked in they all cheered. If that's not an ego boost, I don't know what is!
At this moment, we are gearing up to say goodbye. My wonderful team leaders, Garrick and Dziu, are leaving in 3 weeks. I can't believe it. A part of me feels like my family is separating or something. My team has shared so much together in the last two years, and for me, this is not bittersweet. Its just bitter. I once again must mention I HATE CHANGE, and this is a necessary change. Basically the ministry is mine and Migue's. Luckily, he has promised me he will stick with me until I leave, so I don't have to do it alone. However most of the ministry stuff we do I will have to do alone because he wasn't allowed to be apart of it in the beginning due to support. As a result, I will continue pouring into my wonderful friends from the University, keep the Bible study going, and run English club.
This just brings up alot of issues that I have realized about myself. I can do it, I just don't like doing it alone. I LOVE ministry here, and I feel it is slipping farther and farther away from me because time is catching up with me. We still don't know the future of ministry here, and as a result, I am kind of in denial. As I mailed my acceptance to Grad school today, it was a little scary. It was almost like admitting I will not come back, and when I told Migue, he said, "it's real now, you aren't coming back." It made me sad!
I sit here tonight not wanting to go to sleep yet, mostly because I am the queen of fighting sleep and because tomorrow I only have one ministry obligation and that is at 8pm. I know for most people they would not complain, but for me, I LOVE it so much it makes me sad sitting around. I guess I will just have to go to the gym extra long tomorrow to relieve some of this stress and the weight added from eating lots of peanut butter M&Ms. haha
I hope my posts aren't depressing you all. In reality, its really amazing that I went from this time last year of counting days until I left to trying to forget about leaving. God really has done amazing work in me, and allowed me to let go of what was and look at the here and now in Spain. However, I find myself not wanting to forget Spain to move onto the here and now in America. Weird huh! I don't ask questions; I just do what I am told. In this moment, I really do hope and pray this is not the end for me here in Spain/Europe. I said I would go anywhere and do anything, but a little part of me is whispering..."let it be Europe, please." We will all have to wait to see what He decides!
I am just getting back from movie night with a lot of students we have been ministering to at Cartuja a faculty of the University of Granada. I am so encouraged. Many of the students I have met as a result of my great friendship with Sam, also the student we do a bible study each Monday. I can't tell you how much I love being with them all. I have learned one of their terrible professors accents and they make me do it all the time. It makes me happy that in my limitations with Spanish, I can still make these students laugh. It truly warms my heart to be apart of their lives and to feel so loved. Tonight, when I walked in they all cheered. If that's not an ego boost, I don't know what is!
At this moment, we are gearing up to say goodbye. My wonderful team leaders, Garrick and Dziu, are leaving in 3 weeks. I can't believe it. A part of me feels like my family is separating or something. My team has shared so much together in the last two years, and for me, this is not bittersweet. Its just bitter. I once again must mention I HATE CHANGE, and this is a necessary change. Basically the ministry is mine and Migue's. Luckily, he has promised me he will stick with me until I leave, so I don't have to do it alone. However most of the ministry stuff we do I will have to do alone because he wasn't allowed to be apart of it in the beginning due to support. As a result, I will continue pouring into my wonderful friends from the University, keep the Bible study going, and run English club.
This just brings up alot of issues that I have realized about myself. I can do it, I just don't like doing it alone. I LOVE ministry here, and I feel it is slipping farther and farther away from me because time is catching up with me. We still don't know the future of ministry here, and as a result, I am kind of in denial. As I mailed my acceptance to Grad school today, it was a little scary. It was almost like admitting I will not come back, and when I told Migue, he said, "it's real now, you aren't coming back." It made me sad!
I sit here tonight not wanting to go to sleep yet, mostly because I am the queen of fighting sleep and because tomorrow I only have one ministry obligation and that is at 8pm. I know for most people they would not complain, but for me, I LOVE it so much it makes me sad sitting around. I guess I will just have to go to the gym extra long tomorrow to relieve some of this stress and the weight added from eating lots of peanut butter M&Ms. haha
I hope my posts aren't depressing you all. In reality, its really amazing that I went from this time last year of counting days until I left to trying to forget about leaving. God really has done amazing work in me, and allowed me to let go of what was and look at the here and now in Spain. However, I find myself not wanting to forget Spain to move onto the here and now in America. Weird huh! I don't ask questions; I just do what I am told. In this moment, I really do hope and pray this is not the end for me here in Spain/Europe. I said I would go anywhere and do anything, but a little part of me is whispering..."let it be Europe, please." We will all have to wait to see what He decides!
posted by Jess at
3:33 PM
2 Comments:
from your comment, it would be hard to head back over here - what are you studyin' in grad school? I'm stopping the PhD early for a masters. - from your blog you're still in Spain right? When do you get back state side?
It is amazing to read how much you trust the Lord to satisfy your needs. I'm praying for you, for your contentment, and for your peace in what He asks of you.
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