'Bout Time!
Well, I have fallen pray to the awful laziness of never updating my blog. When I was in Spain, I hated it when people didn't update their blogs. Oh how I hated it! Now, I am back in America, and I am just as "busy," just as frantic, and updating people is the least of my priorities. I now understand you all. However, I don't feel empathetic. ha! I just feel like I have failed myself. I don't want to get to busy to communicate with people, but here it is so easy!!
Now, getting back to the update. First of all, I have to say it is weird to write, "When I was in Spain..." Actually in this moment, I hate it. I am not adjusting as well as I had hoped. Now, everyone always says it takes time, and as time goes by it gets easier. The problem is I hate time. The farther I get from being in Spain, the tougher it is. I am afraid I will forget it. As a result, I am fighting against time healing. This is why I think severe reverse culture shock hits a month or two in. This is because you are beginning to forget it.
However, I have been back a week. In that week, I have gone home and visited my family; partially moved into my house; and started work. I am a true American, taking no time to rest. However, this is suppose to help me move on, but when I look down at my feet and see my leftover blisters from the Camino, I know this is not readjusting like I had planned.
Oooooh I haven't updated about the Camino. How incredible was the Camino! We walked for 8 days 121 miles, climbing for two days. Most days, I really didn't think I would make it to the end. I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. It was a representation of my walk with God over the last two years I lived in Spain.
Then beginning was incredibly difficult! I hurt everywhere, and didn't want to finish it. I had to pray for God to give me endurance to make it. In the middle, I started getting use to it, but it was still difficult, and moments, I didn't want to go. Finally, we finished with a huge celebration. It was incredible with the best fireworks show I have seen in my life. In Spain, this was my life. In the beginning I HATED it. Every minute, and every step pained me more and more. Then, I trusted God and kept going, which I started to get use to it. Then, boom! All of a sudden there was enjoying the best experience of my life (to this date of course). I just feel blessed that I finally got it! I finally understood what all that "climbing" was about.
I overcame so much, and the Camino was the perfect way to end this specific experience. It is so difficult to leave because I know it will never be the same again. I will never work on the exact same team, in the exact same city, surrounded by the exact same friends. Things change, and this is why I hold on so tightly to Spain. I loved who I became there.
I hope I can continue to grow like I did when I was in Spain. I know the tests won't be the same, but they will be as gratifying if I can pay attention to what Christ is trying to tell me. I keep telling myself to live in the moment, which is something I learned in my two years in Spain.
There is still so much I have left out, but I had to at least give you something. I mean I hadn't updated in almost 2 months. This to me is a disappointment especially for people who love blogs as much as I do!
Now, getting back to the update. First of all, I have to say it is weird to write, "When I was in Spain..." Actually in this moment, I hate it. I am not adjusting as well as I had hoped. Now, everyone always says it takes time, and as time goes by it gets easier. The problem is I hate time. The farther I get from being in Spain, the tougher it is. I am afraid I will forget it. As a result, I am fighting against time healing. This is why I think severe reverse culture shock hits a month or two in. This is because you are beginning to forget it.
However, I have been back a week. In that week, I have gone home and visited my family; partially moved into my house; and started work. I am a true American, taking no time to rest. However, this is suppose to help me move on, but when I look down at my feet and see my leftover blisters from the Camino, I know this is not readjusting like I had planned.
Oooooh I haven't updated about the Camino. How incredible was the Camino! We walked for 8 days 121 miles, climbing for two days. Most days, I really didn't think I would make it to the end. I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. It was a representation of my walk with God over the last two years I lived in Spain.
Then beginning was incredibly difficult! I hurt everywhere, and didn't want to finish it. I had to pray for God to give me endurance to make it. In the middle, I started getting use to it, but it was still difficult, and moments, I didn't want to go. Finally, we finished with a huge celebration. It was incredible with the best fireworks show I have seen in my life. In Spain, this was my life. In the beginning I HATED it. Every minute, and every step pained me more and more. Then, I trusted God and kept going, which I started to get use to it. Then, boom! All of a sudden there was enjoying the best experience of my life (to this date of course). I just feel blessed that I finally got it! I finally understood what all that "climbing" was about.
I overcame so much, and the Camino was the perfect way to end this specific experience. It is so difficult to leave because I know it will never be the same again. I will never work on the exact same team, in the exact same city, surrounded by the exact same friends. Things change, and this is why I hold on so tightly to Spain. I loved who I became there.
I hope I can continue to grow like I did when I was in Spain. I know the tests won't be the same, but they will be as gratifying if I can pay attention to what Christ is trying to tell me. I keep telling myself to live in the moment, which is something I learned in my two years in Spain.
There is still so much I have left out, but I had to at least give you something. I mean I hadn't updated in almost 2 months. This to me is a disappointment especially for people who love blogs as much as I do!
posted by Jess at
5:50 PM
2 Comments
